All anyone wants is a chance. A chance to show what they can do. A chance to succeed. Even a chance to fail.
Failure is nothing more than a learning experience. An opportunity that you’re given to revisit your process, fine tune some of your details, and get back to work on correcting it. To know what you need to work on and continue on your path.
Before I continue, I share this next part with the knowledge that the pandemic has affected so many, in so many worse ways than anything I’ve experienced, but I believe a lot of coaches and players are in the same position, and these words may help.
As I was contemplating my career path, and deciding if it was realistic for me to pursue a full-time career as a hockey coach, oftentimes I just wanted a chance. I knew I still had a lot to learn, but I had made a crazy amount of progress since I started. Learning with every practice, every game, every team meeting, every interaction. I thought if I could somehow get a chance at the next level, I would make the most of it and be happy with however it turned out. Even if it was a complete failure.
I was denied a couple head coaching jobs I applied and interviewed for at the AAA level and was losing some faith. I KNEW that I could do it. That I was a good coach. It was just a matter of finding someone to give me that chance. By a strange twist of fate, my minor hockey coaching career came to an end with the onset of the pandemic in March. Crushingly, as our team was entering the provincial finals the day of the cancellation. But, an opportunity arose with my local Jr.A team, the Stouffville Spirit of the OJHL. I had a cup of coffee volunteering for them 2 years ago and had maintained relationships from then on. I was lucky enough that they had noticed the successful program we had built at the AA level in town. I will be forever grateful for GM Kenny Burrows, AGM Thayne Hallyburton and Head Coach Andrew Campoli for giving me the chance. The chance to succeed. The chance to see if I can do it. The chance to fail.
But as we’ve progressed through 2020, and the hockey months are now here, we’re still away from the rink due to the pandemic. I really struggle to follow my own advice. Normally, if I was talking to my team I would say, ‘control what you can control’, and that we’ll be back soon enough. But more and more I find myself getting negative and pessimistic, and can’t seem to shake the overwhelming feeling of being stuck in place. I can continue learning and gaining knowledge away from the rink through conversations, podcasts, books etc, but I don’t have that practical outlet where I can really apply what I’ve learnt, continue to grow as a coach and try and make a difference in young people’s lives. To see if I can still do it.
At the moment, there is no season, so the process cannot continue. The learning has become somewhat fatiguing as we’re missing the tangible feedback you get by applying yourself in practice or more importantly in a game. As much self assuredness that I have in myself and my core beliefs and process as a coach, the feedback (and criticism) you can gain from being in it is something you can’t replace. We don’t have a chance right now to move forward. Coaches and athletes are creatures of habit, and with circumstances changing every day its hard to plan for the future. To set goals. To know that you are moving forward. Even if you were struggling during a season, you knew you were actively working to learn and make your team better.
Its even worse for the players, and I feel horrible for them. They continue to work to try and get better, but they also don’t get the games for positive reinforcement or, for many, even the praise you can receive in practice that makes you stick with it. I don’t have a finite limit on the amount of years I can coach - I hope to be able to do it forever - but these players are limited. They are losing a year of minor or junior hockey that they won’t get back. They need our support now more than ever.
Now, I didn’t mean this to be so doom and gloom, but it may have turned out that way. I believe a lot of hockey people around Ontario, all across Canada, and even the world, are feeling a little stuck. In this constant holding pattern and just waiting for that chance to return. I think its okay to feel a little fatigued with it all, and to be mindful of that. But just remember. We will be back. And just imagine how good that first normal game is going to feel. Being able to be in a dressing room again with your team. Being able to play in front of friends and family. Being able to compete, learn and progress. Even being able to fail. Right now, we are being denied that chance, so when you get it back, don’t waste it.
The next time you’re given the chance to fail, remember this moment when we didn’t even have that. Don’t get down on yourself, be grateful for the opportunity, and turn the failure into success.
Your chance is coming.